Friday, June 7, 2013

Cher demands a wig room at concert venues

Cher demands a wig room at concert venues, Recently, the Internet learned of pop star Katy Perry's crazy list of tour demands (link contains some NSFW language). Among other things, the 45-page document stipulates that Perry's dressing room must be painted in cream or soft pink tones, must boast two cream-colored egg chairs, and may not, under any circumstances, contain carnations.

Wealthy, in-demand celebrities have a long and storied history of believing in their entitlement to treatment that regular folk would never dream of asking for. Here are some more absurd demands that various celebrities have outlined in their contract riders.

1. Cher's Wig Room

Ladies, we've all been there. Some days, you just need an entire room devoted to your wigs. And Cher is no exception. Yes, on every tour, Cher must have a wig room. I don't want to think about what happens if the wigs only get a partitioned-off space instead of an actual room. Who would force Cher to perform in such squalor?!

2. Barbra Streisand's Toilet

Barbra Streisand has famously stipulated that there must be rose petals in her toilet bowl, as well as peach-colored toilet paper "to match her complexion." This raises so many questions, such as: why on earth would such things matter? What if the toilet paper is more of an apricot color? And why does Barbra Streisand spell her first name like that?

3. Moby's Extra Socks and Underwear

Moby's contract rider for a 1999 tour specified that his dressing room must come equipped with ten pairs of cotton boxer shorts and ten pairs of white cotton crew socks. Is this creepy, or an example of Girl Scout-level preparedness? You know the old saying: "You can never demand too many socks or underwear in your contract rider."

4. Christina Aguilera's Flintstones Vitamins

This one isn't so much extravagant as it is odd. Among other stipulations, Christina Aguilera must have a bottle of Flintstones chewable vitamins in her dressing room at all times. In contrast to the other celebrity demands on this list, I find Aguilera's childlike request almost endearing. Aw, that was a long tour--someone's going to sleep tonight!

5. Dustin Diamond's Screech Clause

Dustin Diamond is the actor who portrayed Screech on Saved by the Bell. But don't tell him I told you that. When he goes on a lecture or stand-up comedy tour, Diamond's contract stipulates that the Screech character must not be the primary focus of the venue's advertisements. Diamond wishes to emphasize the other parts of his prolific career. He was, after all, Alumnus Guy #1 in American Pie Presents: The Book of Love. Thus, venues can expect a $100 fine for every advertisement that focuses too heavily on the Screech angle.

6. Van Halen's M&Ms

Perhaps the most infamous contract rider story is that of Van Halen's M&Ms clause. The band's contract required that there must be a bowl of M&Ms--with all of the brown ones removed--in their dressing room. Lead vocalist David Lee Roth later claimed that this was not a superficial request, but was in fact a tactic to ensure that the venue had thoroughly read through contract. According to Roth, technical errors on the part of the venue had previously placed the band and their road crew in dangerous situations. Fair enough, but I doubt there's as reasonable an explanation for Van Halen's requests for unholy amounts of alcohol backstage.

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